Enjoying a Me Day ~
Mother’s Day is right around the corner. How will you be enjoying the day? I believe that Mother’s Day needs to be celebrated by all women. As women we are natural caregivers, nurturers, and supporters. Even if you don’t have children, you likely have people in your life that you “mother.” Those in your life that you care for, help out, give advice to, or offer a shoulder to cry on. And, you likely have women in your life that have been, or are, a “mother figure” to you.
So Mother’s Day for me is not just to be celebrated in the traditional way of children celebrating their mothers. It’s a day for all women to celebrate and acknowledge themselves and each other.
I highly encourage you to celebrate and acknowledge yourself this coming Mother’s Day (and all Mother’s Days to follow BTW) regardless of whether you have children of your own. It’s a pretty safe bet that you’ve “mothered” someone in some way this past year. And of course, also celebrate and acknowledge all those who have “mothered” you.
So often I get asked what I do for Mother’s Day, so I’m sharing it here. First let me start with sharing this:
Like so many of you, I grew up believing that putting myself first to care for my own needs was self-fish and greedy. Now of course, this is through no fault of those around me. They believed this as well. The women in my life that I looked up to growing up didn’t understand the importance of self-care because nobody had taught them.
I used to believe that self-care was not only unnecessary, but that it was also a waste of time. It took me a long time to understand differently. It took many years for me to not only believe, but to fully understand, how important it is for me to care for my own needs. How necessary it is for me to allow time for myself each day. When I finally got this, I felt that it was a huge victory in my self-development!
I came to this understanding through being consistent with my healing work, which enabled me to shed old beliefs and embrace new ones. Then yet even more healing work to consistently implement them. Over the years I've learned how to put myself at the top of my to-do list and keep myself there.
I now know how to find an hour of time each and every day that is devoted to me filling my own well (or filling myself up). For more on that, click here.
And believe me, for many years I tried to do this without being very successful at it! I so clearly remember those early days of attempting this kind of self-care.....In the beginning, my intention was to give myself this time, however I would easily give in to the chatter in my mind that told me, I really didn’t have time for this. Or, This isn’t that necessary.
That voice within would very quickly override my intentions. It’s taken lots of practice and healing work for me to finally, mentally and viscerally, understand the statement, "You are only as good to others as you are to yourself."
I cannot possibly give what I don’t have within me to give. I’ve learned that I can only fake-my-way-through for so long. I can only push myself, pretending that I have the energy to do everything, (when I really don’t) for a short time, before I inevitably end up burnt out. One thing I know for sure is that I need time every single day to fill my well in order to be my best. This is one way that I'm able to give my best to all of those around me.
After becoming very good at allowing time for myself each day, I began experimenting with giving myself an entire day. Since doing so, I’ve discovered how beneficial it is to give myself what I call, a Me Day once in a while. Enjoying a me day serves me in so many ways. Ways that not only I benefit from, but everyone around me benefits from as well.
Where you are in your life is what naturally over-flows to all of those around you. If you feel lit up and energized, that energy is felt by others. If you’re rundown and stressed, that is what overflows to others.
Over the years I’ve taken many days off, which meant a day off from one thing in order to free up the time I needed to do another. You’ve likely done this before too…..taken a day off from your job, only to fill that day with tasks, to-do’s, appointments and errands. Yes, this is indeed a day off from your job, however if it’s filled with running around and completing tasks, it’s not really a day off.
Enjoying a Me Day is not this. It's an entire day without responsibilities. A day to do whatever you feel like doing. Period. No agenda. No, "I should do this." Or, "I could do that."
It's a day to just simply do whatever your body feels like doing, moment by moment. I can tell you from my experience that a day like this is simply glorious! And it's also time that is very well invested.
And so, I enjoy Mother’s Day each year with a Me Day. My kids like to make breakfast for me to enjoy in bed. They love to do this! They give me homemade cards and then my husband is with them for the day until dinner time. I enjoy a Me Day and then join them for dinner.
A Typical Me Day Looks Something Like This ~
Please note that your Me Day doesn't need to look anything like this. I'm sharing what a typical Me Day looks like for myself to give you an idea of what it could look like for you. Remember, this is a day you give to yourself to do whatever you feel like doing. To honor your body and its needs.
I begin with a long, warm shower with no children interrupting. (For those of you who have children, you'll understand how glorious this is.) I'll usually enjoy a walk on the beach where I have no concern with what time it is. Meditate. Listen to a podcast or two. Read. Write. I might enjoy a nap. I'll often savor cups of tea, allowing myself a moment to experience the flavours found in each sip. Eating is also a very mindful experience, just like enjoying each sip of tea, I enjoy each bite of food. I don’t look at any emails, work or personal, and I stay off all social media. I don’t pay attention to time. The entire day is about me doing what I feel like doing for as long I feel like doing it.
Whenever my love-to-have-a-plan-brain tries to make a plan, I pause. Feel into my body. Ask myself, Is this something I really feel like doing? If not, I accept that and move on to what I really do feel like doing.
In the beginning when I was learning to enjoy an entire day devoted to myself, I would hear the voice of guilt creep in. The voice that wants to keep me busy all the time. This voice would tell me things like:
"I really should be working."
"There’s laundry to do."
"If I don’t have a nap, I can do other things."
"I need to be with the kids."
When this voice spoke, I listened and acknowledged it. The more you try to ignore it, the louder it gets. Listening and acknowledging is important. I know from experience the importance of letting that voice be heard. It's the voice that comes from old patterns and beliefs that used to rule my life. Now I know how to allow my body to breathe until that needy voice begins to calm and become quiet. I now know that that voice doesn’t dictate how I enjoy my time.
A Me Day is all about nurturing yourself. It’s about listening to your needs and responding to them accordingly. There are no expectations. Nowhere to go. No schedule to follow. This is what a Me Day is all about.
At the end of the day, I feel absolutely incredible! Recharged. Rejuvenated. More creative than ever. I find that I have more patience and understanding. And I always feel grateful that I now know how to give myself this valuable time to nurture and care for myself.
I know it can take a long time to get to the place on your path where you can do this. To invest an entire day devoted to doing whatever you feel like doing, simply because you feel like it. I know that getting to this place begins with baby steps and a desire to continue moving forward. It involves learning how to fill your own well first by committing to giving yourself time every single day. It requires releasing old patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you, while allowing yourself to remain open to receiving and implementing new ones. And I know that all of this is possible!
Are you up for the challenge? Are you ready to challenge yourself to a Me Day? Of course, it doesn’t have to be on Mother’s Day. I’m sharing that this is how I enjoy my Mother’s Day, I’m certainly not suggesting that everyone needs to enjoy Mother’s Day this way. Choose a day that works for you and challenge yourself to enjoying an entire day dedicated to you. If this feels too daunting, start small. Perhaps you’ll start with an hour and then the next time add an extra 30 min to that hour. Then another 30 min the following time, continuing to build up until you’ve given yourself an entire day.
I know that you're busy. No matter how busy you are, when you know that you're worth it, you will put yourself into your schedule. You are just as much a priority as everything else in your agenda.
Let me know in the comments if you're ready to challenge yourself to a Me Day. I'd love to hear from you! And if you have given yourself a Me Day, what did you enjoy doing? Let me know in the comments below.
If you've enjoyed this blog, I'd greatly appreciate you sharing it so that others can benefit from reading it as well. Thank you.
Looking for more tips to help you live well? Check out Your Live Well Journey - The Podcast, every episode offers ways to help you improve your self-care.
Ready to begin your own Live Well Journey? Click here to learn more about my Mentoring Program and book your FREE consultation today!