Are you getting older or growing up? It's all in how you choose to look at it.
I have always loved and appreciated my birthday. In fact, I love it so much that I still count down the days while I wait for it each year, just as I did when I was a child. My birthday is a celebration of the day that my little baby human body emerged, declaring its space on this earth for a while. I make no apologies while I bask in my special day, fully embracing every little bit of it; including my age. I always feel immense gratitude on my birthday for being blessed with yet another year of life. I'm not getting older with each passing birthday; I'm growing up and evolving into more of who I am meant to be.
Our thoughts and words are powerful. The thoughts that we have around aging and the words we use when talking about aging, affect how we feel about it. I know this and that makes me choose my thoughts and the words that I speak, wisely. When I declare my age, I don’t say, ‘I'm ___ years old.’ I simply give the number. It's unnecessary to attach the ‘years old’ to it. And denying my age, denies who I am. Therefore, I speak the number of my age proudly. (This month I turn 40 ~ how Fantastic is that?!) I work hard in the school of life, which means I earn each and every year of my age.
In no way does it benefit me to think of myself as 'another year older.' In fact, I don't ever want to be old. Not because I'm in denial of the natural and inevitable process that we go through, rather because old is a state of mind. Instead I choose to say, 'I'm evolving with each passing year.' I believe that I can do this beautifully and gracefully. I cherish the opportunity to continue to grow up and evolve, while embracing the process.
I have loved each decade of my life for what each one has brought to me; always allowing each chapter to finish, so that I feel open and ready to welcome a new one.
When I think back on my 20-something self, I would describe Her as a bit wild and uninhibited. She was rebellious, fiery, and a bit of a loose cannon. At times she was immature and irresponsible. She threw caution to the wind and did things on a whim without too much thought of the consequences. That younger Amanda was also insecure and lacked confidence. Even though my 20's were an incredibly fun time, I feel no desire to live as though I am in that space anymore.
My 30-something self loved learning and self-discovery. She learned self-control and self-responsibility. She learned how to slow down, sit still and just be. As maturity was gained, so was self-esteem and confidence. Calmness set in. During this decade She became more appreciative of life and all the wonders that it brings, thanks in part to the births of two children. I have truly loved my 30's, I cherish all the learning and growth and feel ready to move forward, continuing to evolve.
I truly believe that I get better with each passing year. As I grow up, I find that my well of gratitude for life overflows. I put more value on my existence and my self-love continues to grow as I do; which means I take better care of myself. As I evolve, I become more comfortable with who I am, it feels that I fit into my skin better. And with continued evolution of self comes more and more strength in the roots that ground me. All of this means I make fewer apologies for who I am; for my likes and dislikes; for my wants; needs; desires; and dreams, allowing all that makes up the package of Amanda, just simply be what it is.
Although the way in which I celebrate my birthday has changed over the years, I continue to celebrate it as the magnificent milestone that it is, no matter what age I am turning. I hope you do the same.
